Book Review: Emotional Freedom

I am seriously in love with this book!  Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff was the perfect book at the perfect time for me.  A friend had recommended another book by the same author, which I immediately added to my reading list.  But then I was at the airport and needed something to read, and this book was there, waiting for me.

Judith Orloff coined the term Energy Psychiatry to describe the kind of psychotherapy she does.  She takes the best of several different worlds and brings them together.  As she approaches what we often think of as negative emotions (fear, frustration and disappointment, loneliness, anxiety and worry, depression, jealousy and envy, and anger), rather than talking about getting rid of them or suppressing them, she teaches people to transform them.  She gives information and solid advice about how emotions affect us physically and what we can do about it from a medical standpoint (drugs, etc.).  But that isn't the end of it.  She also talks about how to deal with these emotions using  spiritual, energetic, and psychological tools.

I knew when I picked up the book that the real test of Orloff's approach would come in what she said in her chapter about depression.  I'm pleased to say that she passed with flying colors.  She acknowledges that feeling a little depressed and major depression are different things.  I've had too many people tell me that I just needed to think more positively and it would go away.  Even cognitive behavioral therapy can't fix everything on it's own.  She gives real tools, using medicine, spirituality, energy, and psychology together to tackle the problem.

I'm excited to explore these chapters again in the chapter by chapter book group posts.  I know that I've already forgotten much of what I found so enlightening in the first half of the book.  I am looking forward to applying her ideas to help me feel more empathy and compassion for those around me (and act accordingly) without being overwhelmed by the suffering of the world.

Book Group: The God Who Weeps Wrap-up

On the Book Group page, you will now find my initial review, all the chapter posts, and links to other reviews of this book.  I want to declare this done, but it's not.  I'm taking a break for awhile, but I think this is a book that I will come back to at some point in the future.

One reading was not enough.  I found new and different things to like the second time around as I re-read in preparation for the chapter posts.  The second reading was a much more positive experience for me.  As I mentioned in my initial review, when I have heard amazing things about a book, sometimes I go into it expecting too much.  And because I'm expecting wow, wonderful, take your breath away experiences, I miss the tiny miracles.  And maybe that is the lesson that I needed most from this book.  I need to dig deep.  I need to look twice (or three times or four times).  I need to be open to all the joy and love that the world holds.

Thank you for being part of this book group.  Although we really didn't get any discussions going (yet), this has been a very good experience for me.

Book Group: The God Who Weeps Epilogue

Help Thou Mine Unbelief

As I mentioned in an earlier post, this epilogue is one of my favorite parts of the book.  Maybe it's because the authors have the courage to say what so many of us are frightened to admit.  Some of us feel like outsiders.  Some of us  feel like there is something wrong with us because everybody else seems to get it and we don't.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a church of testifying.  Once a month, an entire worship service is devoted to members of the congregation standing and saying, "I know."  We are told that as we testify, our knowledge and our testimonies grow.  But what if you don't know?  What if you have doubts?  What if you believe and want it to be true, but you can't proclaim it with certainty?  What if we will never know in this life?  Does that mean we have no place at the table?

The authors share that many people will live in doubt, but that doubt does not mean that we can't experience miracles.  In Mark, we read of a father who brought his son to Jesus to be healed.  Jesus didn't say, "Sorry you don't have a perfect knowledge so I can't do anything for you."  He said,"If though canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."  To which the father replied,"I believe; help thou mine unbelief."  Essentially, he said, here's what I can bring to the table now.  Help me to gain more. Help me to believe enough that my son can be healed.

There may even be advantages to doubt.  If your knowledge has never been tested, how do you know how strong it is?  If you take things for granted, do you completely realize the miracle?

Perhaps the world cannot be so readily divided into believers and doubters.  We may be closer tot he truth in recognizing that most individuals are divided in their own souls between belief and doubt, just as the father Mark describes.  We certainly do not profess any certain knowledge and confess our kinship with Keats.  Like him, we know we are "straining at particles of light in the midst of a great darkness."  And yet, what we have presented is a version of life's meaning that makes sense to us.
(page 123)

I've tried to make these chapter posts about the book and about my responses to the ideas in the book, but today, I need to link to a post by someone like me, who has doubts and struggles, but is finding that she is where she needs to be.  Read this.

Personally, I know very little.  But as I've accepted doubt, I've grown immensely.  I know that I have a divine destiny.  I know that there is something bigger than me, something that calls to me with love and compassion.  Something that calls me to love and compassion.  Beyond that, I'm not so sure.  But I choose love and that is making me a better person.

Questions for discussion or personal reflection:  

1.  What do you know?

2.  What do you doubt, but choose to act on?

3.  How can we make the church a safer place for doubters?

4.  What did you love about this epilogue?

5.  Was there anything that you didn't like or that made you uncomfortable?

Book Group: The God Who Weeps Chapter 5

Chapter 5 is a beautiful exploration of what heaven is.  Heaven is a process.  (Love that!)  Heaven happens as we work towards achieving the kind of love and relationships that God has.  

The authors refer frequently to Enoch and his vision and the city of Zion.  One of my favorite scriptures about Zion is Moses 7:18.  

And the Lord called his people Zion, beacause they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them.  

Heaven, Zion, love, and relationships need to be about the here and the now, not about a reward that we will get if we check off a list of things to do a certain way.  If we don't get the love part right, none of the rest of it matters.  

Nietzsche was right when he said Christians had a tendency to turn away from this life in contempt, to dream of other-worldly delights rather than resolve this-wordly problems.  We humans have a lamentable tendency to spend more time theorizing the reasons behind human suffering, that working to alleviate human suffering, and in imagining a heaven above, than creating a heaven in our own homes and communities.  (pages 111-112)

The authors don't bring up 1 Corinthians 13 in this chapter, but I need to.  

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.  3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.  

I love verse three, because most people think that charity is feeding the poor, but it's not. Feeding the poor, while a good thing, doesn't make you a better person unless it comes from love.   

Achieving heaven or Zion requires that we live according to celestial laws, and at the core of all celestial laws is love.  We become like God as we learn to love like God loves.  

Holiness is found in how we treat others not in how we contemplate the cosmos. (page 113)

We can create heaven, here and now.  There need not be any separation between the ordinary, everyday and holiness, or the physical and spiritual, or science and God.  

What if in our anxious hope of heaven, we find we have blindly passed it by, like Wordsworth blazing past the alpine summit?  What if the possibilities of Zion were already here, and its scattered elements all about us?  (pages 120-121)  

Questions for discussion or personal reflection:  

1.  Do you view heaven as something to attain at some future point, or as a journey we are on right now?  

2.  How are you building Zion or heaven in the here and now?

3.  If heaven is about relationships, what are you doing to build those relationships?  

4.  What are you doing to relieve suffering?  In what ways can talking about suffering be part of relieving it, and when to we need to quit talking and start doing?  

5.  How do you find holiness in everyday things?

6.  What ideas spoke to you in this chapter?  

7.  Were there things that bothered you or that you didn't agree with?  

Book Group: The God Who Weeps Chapter 4

Welcome to the Book Group discussion of Chapter 4 of The God Who Weeps.  This was a tough chapter for me, not because of the way the authors covered the topic, but because I really struggle with understanding it.  I am an intelligent person, but for whatever reason, I simply cannot wrap my brain around the ideas of repentance and the atonement.  I can draw diagrams and teach a lesson on it saying all the right words, but I don't feel it.  I don't understand it.  That being said, this chapter reviewed a few ideas that have helped me in the past and it allowed me to look at a some things in new ways. This post may have even more quotes than usual as I point out the things that stood out to me.

The heading for this chapter includes this quote

God has the desire and the power to unite and exalt the entire human family in a kingdom of heaven, and except for the most stubbornly unwilling, that will be our destiny.
(page 77)

I love this idea.  God wants me to succeed and I will succeed.  (I'm stubborn, but I wouldn't say stubbornly unwilling).

The authors spend a few pages discussing the fact that God does not punish us for our sins.

The pain associated with sin is the natural consequence of our choices; it is not God's retribution upon the wicked.
(page 80)

I'm totally onboard with this.  Every action has a consequence.  Each choice we make creates ripples of effect in other areas of our lives.  When discussing the unhappiness of sin, the authors say,

We have fallen out of alignment with ourselves, and with our God whose love we crave and whose nature we share.
(page 82) 

As a voice teacher, I talk a lot about alignment.  Proper alignment allows us to breath better, gaining the necessary energy and power needed for singing.  Proper alignment allows the body to function correctly.  Proper alignment releases the voice without any interference.  I've also been thinking a lot lately about aligning my spirit with my mind and my body.  When all three work together, things are good.  When I forget to listen to and really connect with one of them, there is pain or unhappiness.  I'm totally stealing the line, "We have fallen out of alignment with ourselves," and posting it where it can remind me not to lose that alignment.

They also talk a little bit about guilt.  Guilt is a tricky subject.  Too many people in the world now suffer from pathological guilt, guilt that is unnecessary, unwarranted, or not theirs to claim.  And I think it is extremely difficult sometimes to decide if the guilt we feel is godly guilt, intended to set us back on the right path, or guilt that just beats us down and damages us.  I'm not exactly sure how I feel about their discussion of guilt (page 80).  It is marked with a note to come back and think about this more.

As in other chapters, the authors reaffirm here that this life is an educational experience.

How much more meaningful is a life designed for spiritual formation, rather than spiritual evaluation.  All tests evaluate, and life is no exception.  But the most meaningful and productive tests are those that assess with an eye to improvement, that measure in order to remedy, and that improve and prepare us for the next stage in an upward process of advancement.  For these reasons, all talk of heaven that operates in terms of earning rather than becoming is misguided.  Such ideas misconstrue the nature of God, His Grace, and the salvation he offers.
(page 87)

The rest of the chapter digs into the topics of repentance, atonement, and salvation, topics that as I said earlier, I don't really understand.

This statement, however, is beautiful and the perfect way to wrap up this chapter post:

If God's dominion does not end with our death, why should the progress of the human soul?
(page 98).  

Questions for discussion or personal reflection:

1.  What are your beliefs about Heaven and how we get there?

2.  Do you use guilt in healthy ways to get you back on track, or does guilt seem to trap you in the negative situation?

3.  What does salvation mean to you?  

4.  What does exaltation mean to you?  

5.  How does the atonement help you?  

6.  What things spoke to you in this chapter?

7.  What things bothered you or left you with questions?  

Emotional Freedom: A mid-book update

When I first read Daniel Amen's book Healing ADD, I was most impressed by the fact that he believes in a comprehensive, holistic approach to dealing with ADD.  It's not just about drugs, or just about diet.  It's about drugs, diet, supplements, behavioral therapy, exercise, etc.  Approaching something from more than one angle, and admitting that there isn't one magic bullet that works for everyone makes sense to me.  That is one of the reasons that I am so exciting about the book Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff.  She approaches fear, frustration, loneliness, anxiety, depression, jealousy and anger by showing us how they function and affect us on physical level (hormonal and biological changes), a spiritual level, an energy level, and a psychological level.  The solutions must also take place at each level.

I still have 140 pages left to go, but I am so excited to start talking to people about this book. There are ideas presented here that clarify things that I've never quite been able to grasp before.  Because I have gained so much from re-reading to create the chapter by chapter posts for The God Who Weeps, I've decided that Emotional Freedom is the book I really need to study next.

So...

Emotional Freedom will be the next book in the online book group.  I'm hoping to finish up all the chapter posts for The God Who Weeps in a couple more weeks, so you can look for the first post on this book sometime around Feb. 9.

Book Group: The God Who Weeps Chapter 3

Chapter 3 may be my favorite chapter in this book.  This is the part of Mormonism that I love.

1.  Mortal life is not a fall, but an ascent, a chance to grow and progress.  

Mormon's have a different view of The Fall.  Some people believe that because Eve was tricked by the serpent and ate the forbidden fruit, that they were expelled from The Garden as punishment for the sin.  Had Eve not chosen wrongly, we would all be living happily (without sin, pain, or sickness) in The Garden.  Mormon's don't see it that way.  Adam and Eve were given options and warnings. They chose this world.  By leaving paradise, they had a chance to grow in ways that they couldn't if they had stayed there.  Receiving a mortal body, and all that is associated with that, is a necessary step in our learning and progression.

At Eve's courageous instigation, they opt to lose paradise, hoping to eventually regain heaven--but transformed and ennobled by the schoolhouse of experience that comprises mortality.  Mortality, therefore, immersion in bodily, earthly experience, is vital to becoming like God.
(page 59)
Kabbalists such as Moses de León agreed that birth is ascent, not fall, and life's purpose is educative, not punitive.
(page 60)

The authors do wonderful work here, and every page is filled with beauty and clarity.  I could read the first half of this chapter over and over again and never tire of it.

2.  "The natural man is an enemy to God" DOES NOT mean that our bodies are wicked or a curse.

Unfortunately, for too many years I took the words of Paul and  King Benjamin to mean that our bodies were naturally bad, our enemies, and something that had to be conquered if we wanted to be spiritual.  Only in the last few years have I realized how important it is to listen to what my body is trying to tell me.  My body is my friend.  It will tell me what I need to know and do if I listen to it, really listen, and not just notice the most obvious surface details.  The authors speak of "a body that enhances rather than hinders our spiritual progression." (page 69)


3.  It is through our bodies that we can experience the most joy and happiness.

We therefore should not see the body and spirit in opposition.  The fact that Christ chose children as a model for moral goodness means socialization, not incarnation, is the source of our ills.  When Paul condemned the "natural man," he specifically associated it with an acquired, not an innate worldliness. "Human wisdom" and "the spirit of the world" are its hallmarks, he said, not the senses and passions.  Our task is to school our appetites, not suppress them, to make the work in concert with a will that disciplines the spirit as much as the flesh.  For desire has both spiritual and bodily expressions, and our life is a journey to purify both.  Along the way, we discipline and honor the body, even as we aspire to perfect the soul, finding in the end that the body and spirit, fitly framed together, do indeed provide the deepest joy.
(page 72)

Much of this paragraph is highlighted in my book.  In the margin in florescent orange is the word, "Yes!"  Then in blue (from the second reading) is "Chocolate cake principle."  My Chocolate Cake Principle is really about synergy, when two things working together accomplish more than the sum of their individual efforts.  You can read here about how I use it in voice lessons to explain that technique plus interpretation create a better performance than either could alone.  In much the same way, the spirit and the body together can do more, experience more, learn more than either could ever do alone.  The body is not a punishment or a hindrance, but a key component in the development of our souls.

Questions for discussion or personal reflection:

1.  Do you view this life as a punishment, a learning experience, or something else entirely?  

2.  Do you read the story of Adam and Eve as literal history or allegory?

3.  Is your body a hindrance or an educational tool?  

4.  What does the "natural man" mean to you?  Click on the links above for scripture references.  

5.  How has your body helped you experience joy lately?  

6.  What spoke to you in this chapter?  

7.  Were there things in this chapter that bothered you or that you don't agree with?